Mythos

Arethusa

fled

Alpheios.

„Alpheios, why did you trap me in this silence made of glass? I can see you, smell you, almost taste you, but neither touch nor hear you. Is this your way of keeping yourself safe? I thought demi-gods like you are strong enough to be braver than this. I can't even flee, everywhere I run I only see your reflection, bizzar and surreal, not you, but still part of who you are to me.

If you don't want to drive me off, Alpheios, what is it you want? You play with the beat of my heart, fast, slow, ever racing to catch up with you, but never enough. I mustn't run, it's too loud, the silence prison will break, shatter, and all the shards will cut so deeply that my red vitae will remind me that I can only give that much, not more, to still be alive. To not give in to the void that is already licking it's fingers in juicy anticipation.

Sick of waiting, sick of stultifying passivity I flee into blind actionism. This, my dear demi-god, will give me the illusion, to be free. Free from you, free from whatever spell you becasted me with in that night when you showed me where the black magic happened. I understand, that you distinguish between love and black magic, but sometimes clear lines vanish, and all that matters is trust, hope and passion. And all addiction will fade away if the essence you're drunk with is not prepared to spread its full flavor. Time will come and it will be a nice dessert for an aftertaste, but nothing more and the void will eat up what's left.

But it's not freedom I'm looking for. It's a less stormy bay in the hurricaine of my life. It's a coastline to keep in sight while sailing salty seas, night after night. I'm not sure I will ever reach the solid sand banks, but every time I loose sight after the sun is gone and darkness takes it's place, I want to have the feeling of safety and certainty that it will be there again the next morning.

So, Alpheios, here I am, before the altar of my realm devoted to you. Tell me, why did you trap me in this silence made of glass, demi-god?“